The question I keep going back to…

What is being asked of me right now?

It’s a powerful question that I have gone back to over and over, almost as a mantra, but really a question to find my way. This one question has provided more insight and has allowed me to drop “if’s” and “should’s” in a way that feels extremely liberating.

I came upon this question – or rather, this question came to me – as I’ve felt resistance or felt myself in struggle, fighting against what is, in order to continue down the path I was on.

You see – and I know you do – we humans have plans, right? We have goals and dreams and plans and sometimes these don’t match up with what seems to be happening.

What I’ve discovered though, is that letting go of certainty and allowing my inner wisdom to guide me has opened up other paths and shown me other ways that I’m being asked to show up. They may seem scary, but that’s usually because the unknown is, well, a bit scary.

That is why I’ve been practicing loosening my grip on certainty and I tell you, it’s been a game changer.

I want to add too, that I haven’t done any of this perfectly or in isolation. I just want to make sure that’s front and center for any of you that may read this and feel tempted to think I somehow have something you don’t.

You have it too. You have great wisdom inside of you and often (or most of the time), it takes being in a supportive community of others who can see this in you when you can’t access it.

One of my gifts, you could say, is seeing people. It’s one of the things about myself I can say I know for sure. I see beauty in you. I see your magnificence. And I find great joy in doing so.

I was recently at a business intensive with 9 other incredible women and one of the exercises we did during this 3 day retreat was to take turns pairing off and telling the other person what we saw in them. Then we would listen as the other person told us what they saw in us.

I was immediately excited for this, as this was something I can do! I felt no resistance and allowed myself to open up and share with the person in front of me what I could see.

It was also quite a revelation to hear what they could see in me. A bit harder, as this does and can feel extremely vulnerable, but also so incredibly powerful! To be told the powerful ways others see you, and told with truth and honesty, and then take that with you to practice seeing these things in yourself is powerful!

To allow that knowing to take root as well, without any guilt or pretense, but to know yourself through the eyes of another who truly sees the light in you – that allows you to embrace those parts of yourself in a whole new way.

I walked away stronger, lighter and more in tune with my own heart. I walked back into my everyday life a little bit more wise, with a lot more self-compassion and even more open to leading from my heart space, not just my mind.

Upon my return to everyday life, I began to live with this question, What is being asked of me right now?

Then I actually sat silently with that question. It became hard to deny the truth of what was coming through.

What is being asked of me right now is to be fully engaged in guiding my kiddos through their transition to this new place, this new home. To open up conversations about how they are feeling, what we can do as a family to move through all the feelings without ignoring them, but also allowing for new ones to come through.

Where I was feeling struggle was trying to strive more, figure it all out more, and in truth how to build my business and show up as a wife and a mother at the same time. It all felt like overwhelm.

I began to understand what I needed to do first, and how I could create my work schedule in a way that felt supportive of my family and that allowed me to do what I do best and use my gifts coaching women.

I truly believe when we ignore or do not express the parts of ourselves that we are here to express, what we will experience is disconnection that leads to distress in countless ways in our lives.

However, in allowing myself to be in this question, what has also come forth strongly is the knowing that all of this may not happen on my timing.

But that doesn’t mean it is not going to happen.

What is will be whether we try and stop it or squelch it or ignore it. We cannot ignore who we are.

Or if we do, there will finally come a day when we no longer can. Then perhaps comes the breakdown and then the breakthrough.

So, my dear community, what I know about you is that you have so much responsibility. You have so many gifts. You have so many people to love and serve. You have partners and careers. You are wise warrior mamas and visionaries and creatives. You are brave and scared. You are imperfect and full of strength. You cannot be defined by just one role or put in a box by anyone.

What you can do is allow yourself to be where you are right now.

You can be in the question, what is being asked of me right now, and then listen for the answer.

You can know that you can show up for what is being asked of you right now, fully, and not lose all the other parts of yourself that will undoubtedly still be expressed. Because if you are listening, you will know when that time comes.

Then you might be in that question again and realize it’s time. The time has come for you to go forth with that other thing, that other gift, that other desire that is strong in you.

There is room for all of your gifts.

I invite you to be in this question for yourself this month and beyond. See what comes in.

Don’t judge it or say no because you think you can’t or everything else will fall apart or disappear.

Just allow yourself to be here fully.

In the past 5 months, I have felt some of the most painful moments right next to some of the most contented moments of joy, all in the same span of a breath.

Being here fully is the only way to truly experience that.

Let me know what comes in when you ask yourself what is being asked of you and how you will respond. I’m here to support you and to see you.